photographs

My first love of photography was learning about how we went about taking photos from a historical perspective. I was fascinated by the first use of flash, how a cover was used to create a “dark room” and how another device, when pressed activated the flash, that was connected to a cord.

I was fascinated by black and white photos, how the the aperture’s creation simulated the function of the eye, how reflective light, and upside down imagery when it comes out and reflected back is kind of backwards or something, and perception. I was also intrigued by the multi-dimensionality of things, seen and unseen captured in it’s relation to spirituality, soul work and freedom.

First I read about it in Encyclopedia Britannica, which I absolutely loved as a child. I could sit on the floor for hours and read. Then in high school, I took a photography course as an elective, along with psychology and art. I would add home economics but that wasn’t an option. I think everyone had to take that. Anyhow, then I learned of taking photos and the one of the first lessons was around contrast. I was intrigued. It just so happened that my family was going to the city that following weekend. And boy, did I have some amazing things to photograph. New York City, and it’s buildings. Nothing but contrast, every where you looked. So I snapped away. The kind of camera you put film in. Then we got to develop them with the teachers instruction.

So, when my pictures were developed, my teacher was ecstatic. He was elated. So pleased with the photos I took of contrast. So, I was happy, though not so excited. I mostly, and mostly entirely thought, well, there were so many options of contrast. In NYC you could not go wrong. My teacher was trying to explain to me that it was about the angles, the angles that I saw and took which made them wonderful. I could not believe that then. My self-esteem was so low, “it could not have been me, or anything I saw.” It was, the buildings themselves.

Fast forward a bit. People seemed to want me on the other side of the camera. I never liked the way I looked. I and still have this thought to this day, you never “really know what you look like, you can only see yourself, from yourself, what other people see is from their perspective.” Still I did some shoots, and was intrigued by the lighting, and different cameras and different lenses that could be used, and filters, and zooming, and contrast adjustments and models that captured the most true to life images.

Then I’d go to thrift stores mainly in the East Village where I lived and could not get enough of the antique cameras. I always wanted one, or two or three, though they were way too expensive. So I would get things I really wanted or needed, as a smoker back then, vintage ashtrays were my favorite, and glasses, and gloves, and superfab vintage clothing. Still, I never walked past the cameras without stopping.

Then events would happen and I never felt the urge to hold the camera, though I wanted to be holding a camera and take pictures. Before sell phones, you could carry a camera, but you could ending up looking like a tourist, and that could set you up for all kinds of stuff. Especially walking around alone. When I was with friends, it didn’t occur to me. Not until later, then I took so many pictures that I never got developed, that added up, that I made a commitment to get these film rolls developed before they aged and could not be developed. It was hundreds of dollars, back then, that was a lot. Back then I always had two jobs. So I printed a bunch of stuff. To this day, they are still in their enveloped paper containers, all whopped into a plastic bag. One day they will be converted to photo albums or so I thought. The only next thing I saw years later, (brilliant) were company’s devoted to turning your film rolled, developments, converted into digital format. Intriguing. Never did that either.

Fast forward into the internet, digital and cell phone error. Well now it’s on. My goodness. I’m a photo junkie and can’t get enough. So these are examples of some of the reality images captured in a moment using my various cell phone cameras, from flip phones, to BlackBerry to now Pixel. Yum, and Yum some more.

One day, I’ll get a real camera. Canon has always been my favorite, though I’m good for now. With grandbabies and everything, camera phones suit just absolutely fine. Maybe when their older, I get myself a Canon. Me and my husband could use it. He Loves photography too!

I did get a camera for my hubby. Of course I did not know what I was doing. Or, not of course, I really don’t like the words ‘Of course’ or ‘Obviously’ or ‘As you can see’ because I believe with all my heart, ‘…everything is relative’ and ‘everything depends on our perception,’ yours and mine, ‘so nothing is really obvious, nothing is really of course, and nothing is really as you can see, it all depends on your perspective.’ I know this because I’m dyslexic and pretty damn near blind, and I see the world the way I see the world, just like everyone else; based on my experiences, view, upbringing, influences, how the world has perceived me and what I’ve done about it, how I perceive myself, and what I’ve done about it, and what more I can do in this world to do things I feel are important, from my point of view. Just like you. So, back to the story; I gave my husband a professional camera as a gift, and turns out the magnification was, well, not so great. So, who knew. It’s like buying crystal (glasses) and you know nothing about the quality of crystal glasses (I have done that before), or diamonds and perfect diamonds, (which I pawned a pair of near perfect diamonds for nothing, because I was hungry and didn’t know any better), anyhow so, this camera, I think I will see about using it as a practice set to learn about how to use these types of cameras, just to learn, as it’s been sitting in it’s case for a long time now, and even though, the cameras we have on our phones are way better and not as heavy, and I’m not concerned anymore about looking like a tourist, I am comfortable just being a person who wants to take some photos with a real camera (believe me people, it’s taken me a while to get to that), so I’m pretty excited.

To all the Photography Newbies out there, just go ahead, get out there and do it!! 

With Love, Lolita