“Not an Artist”
I grew up thinking I was not an artist. Later I reversed that thinking and began a mantra, “Everyone’s an Artist.” What do I know? I know what it’s like to know nothing of a subject and then know something of a subject and then get too excited and start preaching about it. That was then too. Now, with more third eye, measured understanding, see from all sides, observe, do not judge, do you…let other do how they do, and so on, I realize we each get to decide. Yep. So. I’m an Artist. I have been afraid to say out loud, still, though I will borrow what one of my mentors said about me, “This is Lolita, she is a Multi-talented Creative.” Okay, I’ll take it. 🙂
I tried so hard to tame my creativity until it was literally bursting from my seams. I eat, drink and sleep creativity. No way to help it and finally, I don’t want to. This was the reason I decided to consciously come out of the closet with it. It is an existence or was an existence that does not have to be as painful as I let it be. That was due to my own conditioning and internalization of what I thought the world expected of me and what I thought I expected of myself. I ended up compartmentalizing my whole life into little shapes, then carry out what ever I was doing. All was great, except, I was exhausted!
There’s a better way. Though I thought I was already do this, I was only doing it as well as I was able to at the time, which was partially. Later I learned to develop my whole self, in everything I did. It took some courage, and some action, and I did it slowly. Tip for you, start integrating it today, now, no matter where you are in your life. The it could be anything. I was great at encouraging others to reach their potential and left my own in “conditioning” that if I had allowed it to, could have served me better. So, Tip, again, whatever it, or the it’s are, start today, and do not stop. If it’s music, (hint, my voice is my instrument), pursue it, not just encourage and support others, go for it yourself, you’ve been given permission. If it’s art (I convinced myself that only two of six kids, were artistic – I didn’t include myself – I am an Artist), pursue it, and don’t stop, you’ve been given permission. If it’s photography (I Love photography, creating it), start with your phone and go out and take some photos then post them up somewhere, you’re allowed to be a photographer). If you enjoy writing (how many half stories, and half poems do I have? That could be songs?) start writing, today, or better yet, collect all your old stuff and start sifting through it, then begin again, you are allowed. Sky. The Sky is the limit. Now we know Beyond the Sky is the Limit. Do not Sell Yourself Short because you’ve been conditioned. Okay, so what if you were, conditioned? You can de-condition yourself. A good book to get you on this path – it is a short, packed book called The Four Agreements By Don Miguel Ruiz, Using the Four Agreements to Master the Dream of Your Life, ’97.
